Oh, Riley...Hi...
Hi... Gee, I hope I'm not interrupting anything really DEPRESSING.
What's up?
Right to the point. Okay...
I was thinkin' of asking out Buffy.
She's not here.
I know... see I don't know that much about Buffy,
But i'm interested in what she likes.
And so far, well, the only thing that I know she likes, is YOU.
Well, what do you want ME to do?
Just tell me something---anything... just give me a clue...
Just something that'll start us talking, you know?
I'm thinking "how 'bout them broncos?" won't really cut it.
Okay. Say that I help. And you start a conversation... it goes GREAT...
You like Buffy, she likes you...
You spend time together, feelings grow deeper,
And one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love.
Time stops. It's like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone.
Until the day one of you leaves, and rips the still-beating heart from the other
who's now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.

Yep, that's the plan.
I figured it was.

I just feel that... Well, I've never courted anyone like Buffy, before.
I don't think I've ever MET anyone like buffy before...
Why should I trust you?
I was just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest face.
I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars.
All right. I guess I'm not gonna win, here.
I appreciate you wanting to protect your friend.
I guess she kind of brings that out in people.
She likes cheese.
What?
Well, I'm not saying it's the key to her heart... but Buffy?
She likes cheese.
That's a start.
She has a stuffed piggy named Mister Gordo.
Likes Ice Capades, without the irony...
And, she's dragging me to this party tonight, at Lowell House.
Oh, you're going? That's my house. I live there.
Well, that'll give you a chance to interact, but don't get fresh.
Fresh? We don't even know if we like each other yet.
Hey, does she ever talk about me... like, has she ever said...?
Sorry.
That's discouraging.
Still, I feel I have a fighting chance, with my new accomplice.
I'm NOT your accomplice.
No, no, of course not.
I'm NOT.
You're not.
We're clear.